This week I’ve been thinking a lot about voice.

More specifically, what it cost me to find, or rather, to use mine, and what it’s given me in return.

Over the past year, writing Invisible Inheritance forced me to confront something I’ve carried for most of my life: anxiety didn’t just affect my thoughts or my body. It often took my voice.

For years I shrank in moments when something inside me wanted to speak. I stayed quiet when I felt something was wrong. I avoided saying what I really thought. I softened truths so that others would stay comfortable. Anxiety has a way of convincing us that silence and shrinking equal safety. And sometimes that silence comes with shame.

There were seasons of my life where this showed up in deeply painful ways, including keeping secrets inside an abusive relationship during my early 20s because I didn’t believe my voice mattered or that it would change anything.

When anxiety runs the show long enough, you can start to feel voiceless. But something I’ve learned through healing is this: My voice was never actually lost. You can't lose your voice. My voice was just unused.

Healing wasn’t about magically “finding” my voice one day.

It looked more like using it in small ways first.

Speaking one honest sentence.

Writing down one truth about myself on a sticky note.
Telling the truth to one person.
Naming what I was feeling instead of hiding it.

And slowly, over time, those small moments grew.

Eventually, those small moments turned into something much bigger… like writing a book.

This week, I was interviewed on a podcast for the upcoming launch of Invisible Inheritance, and we talked about something that felt really important. One of the most powerful ways to combat overthinking and rumination (Anxiety's friends) is to speak life and truth out loud.

Anxiety loves to live inside our heads. It grows louder in isolation. But when we begin to speak truth out loud, we give our minds something new to hold onto. We begin replacing the anxious voice with something stronger.

Ironically, this exact conversation came up in my own life this week.

RJ and I were talking about anxiety, and I said something that still surprises people when they hear it: Even after more than a decade of doing my own therapy work—and counseling countless others with anxiety—the anxious voice in my head is still there.

Honestly, it’s there almost 100% of the time. But here’s the difference now. I catch it. I notice when the voice shifts into fear, catastrophizing, or self-doubt. I have befriended this voice. I know her well. And I’ve learned how to replace it with something truer.

That’s what healing has looked like for me. Not the absence of anxiety. But the ability to meet it with truth and kindness.

Here are 10 truths for you to write down and keep in mind (my personal favs):

I am not alone. I am guided, supported, and cared for even when I cannot see the full path.
Fear does not get the final word over my life. I choose courage and trust today.
I am created with purpose, and my life carries meaning beyond this moment.
Peace is available to me, even in the middle of uncertainty.
My worth is not determined by my performance, success, or approval from others.
I can release what I cannot control and focus on what is mine to steward.
Strength grows in me when I walk through difficulty, not when I avoid it.
I am allowed to rest. My value does not come from constant striving.
Love, grace, and compassion are available to me today, and I can offer them to others.
Hope is still alive in my story. There is more good ahead than I can currently see.

Writing this book was one of the biggest ways I’ve ever used my voice. And if I’m being honest, it cost something. It cost vulnerability. It cost telling the truth about parts of my story that would have been easier to keep quiet. It cost letting people see behind the professional, buttoned-up version of me.

But what it has given me is something even greater. Freedom. And the hope that someone else might read these words and realize they’re not alone in their anxiety, and they’re not stuck with it either.

If you’ve already pre-ordered Invisible Inheritance, thank you. Truly. Pre-orders matter so much for authors, and your support means more than I can say. Thank you for helping carry this message forward and for sharing it with people in your life who may need it.

And if you’re local to Atlanta, I also announced something special this week. On launch night, April 21, from 7:00-9:00 pm, I’ll be hosting my first ever live event: An Evening with the Author at Social House in Roswell, Georgia.

It will be a night of conversation, reflection, connection, and celebrating this book together. You can learn more about the book, pre-order your copy, and find the event details here: nicolethaxton.com/invisible-inheritance

LATEST NEWS:

My debut book is available for preorder: Invisible Inheritance: A Guide to Healing Anxiety Across Generations.

I speak to leaders, parents, and (small and large) organizations about emotional endurance, work-life blend, high-functioning anxiety, and sustainable leadership.

If this reflection resonates with your team or community, you can learn more about bringing this work to your organization here:

BOOK ME TO SPEAK

Thanks for reading! Want more writings and resources?

Here are a few blog posts you might enjoy:

001. Read me if you want more vision casting tips and tools

002. Read me if you're struggling with anxiety

003. Pre-order my debut book now!

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Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.