My own journey with anxiety didn’t have a clear starting point. For years, I didn’t even know I was on one.

I dismissed the signs – the stomach knots, the people-pleasing, the constant fear of disappointing others – as just who I was. It wasn’t until my early twenties, when I sat in a counselor’s office and heard the word “anxiety” (paired with a referral to a psychiatrist for medication), that I began to understand what had been true all along.

Maybe you're familiar with the anxiety journey – it's perhaps why you're here in The Club. Maybe you're new to the journey or someone has told you, “You're anxious."

Maybe, just maybe, you get things done. A lot of things. You meet deadlines. You show up, perform, and push through. And from the outside, everything looks fine – impressive, even.

But what if stress and anxiety aren't always obvious?

That's how it has been for me (for most of my life).

What if anxiety doesn't always look like panic attacks or breakdowns (or what we've been told anxiety looks like)… but like chronic overthinking, perfectionism, and the pressure to do everything for everyone, the pressure to hold it all together?

That's the quiet nature of high-functioning anxiety – it whispers before it ever dares to shout.

And because it's often wrapped up in achievement, many people don't realize it's there.

But you do.

Here are a few whisper-level signs that might sound familiar:

You constantly replay conversations in your head and second-guess your decisions.
You don't know how to make decisions for yourself, but always poll everyone around you.
You feel decision-paralysis.
You feel disconnected from yourself (and others).
You feel guilty when you're not being “productive.”
Your to-do list is never-ending, and somehow, that feels comforting.
You're praised for being so “capable” and “giving," but inside you're exhausted and wired.
Rest feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable… maybe even scary.
You often criticize yourself for resting or for not “having it all together.”

If you read that and felt seen, you're not alone.

Here's what helps:

➜ Name it. Awareness is the first step. Labeling high-functioning anxiety helps reduce shame and increase self-compassion.

➜ Notice the early cues. Jaw tension. Irritability. Crying. Racing thoughts at night. Stomach pain. Disconnect from hunger or other bodily functions. Start tuning into your body's subtle stress signals before burnout hits.

➜ Reframe rest as strategic. You don't have to earn rest. (Read that again.) Your best ideas and leadership often come after space, not hustle.

➜ Remind yourself: You are not your anxiety. You're a human, not just a walking to-do list.

You can be high-achieving and gentle with yourself.

You can be ambitious and well.

I’m cheering for your growth – not just the visible, loud kind, but the quiet kind, too.

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Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.